SF Signal: Galactica 1980: Still Sucks After All These Years

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Galactica 1980: Still Sucks After All These Years

Earlier this week, I set up Tivo to record the US premiere of Battlestar Galactica. While I was looking for it, I noticed that the Sci Fi Channel was also airing an episode of Galactica 1980. Wise move, this. By comparison, the new BG looks like Shakespeare. Still, for nostalgia reasons, I ordered Tivo to record Galactica 1980.

The potentially bad news: The episode of G-1980 turned out to be part one of three. The utterly frightening news, my wife turned it on mid-show, noticed this and recorded all three parts. Yes, that's right: the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with was hooked by an episode of Galactica 1980. I swear, if I had known this when we married...

So I sit here with "Galactica Discovers Earth (Part 1)", the premiere episode of G-1980, running in the background. My head immediately reels at the badness. This thing is steeped in stink.

The first blow to any hope of quality was the appearance of Cousin Oliver (from the Brady Bunch) as a super-smart mutation who acts as oracle aboard the ship. He warns Adama (played with total lack of interest by Lorne Greene) of the Cylon army silently following them lo those many years. If the humans lead them to Earth, the Cylons will kill everyone - bad thing. On the other hand, Cousin Oliver...er...Dr. Zee...is sure that Earth is populated by a nearly archaic species. His proof? He's been monitoring our TV stations. Good idea, Brainiac. His solution is to delay landing until Earth can be brought up to technological speed.

To convince the leaders, Dr. Zee shows them a computer reconstruction of the Cylons attacking the L.A. streets. This is where my lonely childhood paid off (in a sad, twisted sort of way) because I noticed that the footage that they used for the collapsing buildings was pulled straight from the movie Earthquake, which starred Charlton Heston and (drum roll, please) Lorne Greene. So, now I'm playing the Kevin Bacon Game because it's more entertaining that the show.

Adama orders the crew to use their "navigational computrons" to steer the ship away from Earth while Captain Troy (the character of Boxy from the original BG, now grown up and sporting a 70's 'do - flash obligatory picture of Richard Hatch here) and Lieutenant Dillon land on Earth, make their ship invisible, and use flying motorcycles (you read that right) to escape a band of threatening bikers.

Our perfectly coiffed heroes need to investigate and advance Earth technology, so they head to a nuclear power plant. Obviously. What a perfect way to insert an anti-nuke message. But wait! No time to groan just yet. The plant manager is played by Robert Reed. Now I'm thinking an impromptu Brady reunion is bound to happen what with Cousin Oliver hovering over the Earth. However, given the quality of this trash heap that is Galactica 1980, this might not be all that bad a thing.

The suckiness pretty much continues throughout. Sporadically placed throughout the show, the writers throw in the outsider's view of Earth society (awkward moments such as when they refer to money as "denomination of currency", or when they call the smog surrounding L.A. some sort of force field, that sort of tripe). The episode ended on a cliffhanger with some kid in the park who sees the suddenly-visible ship. I'll pass on parts 2 and 3, thanks.

Fortunately, G-1980 is consistently bad. No, that's a good thing. Minor moments of quality would only draw attention to how bad it is. With a consistent level of suck, the viewer is lulled into a state of numbness for which death is the only release.

I recall there being **one** good episode. It featured a follow-on to the original stars and had them finding Starbuck lost on some planet.

But otherwise, the show bit the big one.

Why they changed a halfway decent format (the first season) is beyond me. It follows on other great loser changes, Space: 1999's second season, Buck Rogers second season...hmmmm...I seem to detect a pattern...

Posted by Fred Kiesche on Saturday January 15, 2005 at 9:37 AM

I'll be working extra shifts all weekend, so I won't be able to see the new show until Tuesday or so...how was it?

Posted by Fred Kiesche on Saturday January 15, 2005 at 9:38 AM

So, John, were you expecting BG1980 to get better with age? Or, perhaps, were you expecting senility to set in and as an after effect, that would make it better?

I'll write up a review of the first two for you Fred. But it will take me a bit to do so...

Posted by JP on Saturday January 15, 2005 at 10:41 AM

SciFi channel aired two episodes of the new BG back-to-back. The two epsiodes, "33" and "Water" were very good in my opinion.

They also aired half-hour "Series Lowdown" (you might call it a commercial) special where they talked with the stars and writer. Aside from the "this show rocks" comments from those who have a vested interest in it, there were some interesting points and a few scenes and dialogues with Richard Hatch who guest stars in an upcoming show. Anyone who has immediately dismissed this show because of past loyalties to the old show are doing themselves a disservice. The new BG is a rare breed: a good sf TV show.

Posted by John on Saturday January 15, 2005 at 12:28 PM

Boy when I saw the new Galactica episodes, I almost died of boredom. *Yawn* Since at that moment I didn't want to spend any money on videogames, I found myself a couple of freeware games online. Had fun with Magnant, NG Gladiator, Astroseries, Trius (or wathever). One thing in common: All of those freeware games sucked far less than watching the new Galactica.

Posted by Ronald on Sunday November 06, 2005 at 9:21 PM

where can i get copies of galactica 1980 on dvd or tape

6thanks
john

Posted by john w. strader on Monday July 03, 2006 at 1:20 PM

I think, out of common decency, that Galactica 1980 is legally barred from being sold in digital format. It is only through some squirmy loophole - or a pact with Satan - that SciFi channel is able to air it.