SF Signal: 21 SF/F Books Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word "Pants"

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21 SF/F Books Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word "Pants"

Because there's more to life than tidbits...

21 SF/F Books Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word "Pants"

20,000 Pants Under the Sea by Jules Verne
A Fire Upon the Pants/A Deepness in the Pants by Vernor Vinge
A Journey to the Center of the Pants by Jules Verne
A Song of Ice and Pants by George R. R. Martin
A Stranger in Strange Pants by Robert A. Heinlein
Altered Pants by Richard K. Morgan
Do Androids Dream of Electric Pants? by Philip K. Dick
Fallen Pants by Peter F. Hamilton
His Majesty's Pants by Naomi Novik
Lest Pants Fall by L. Sprague De Camp
Little, Pants by John Crowley
Lord of the Pants (Fellowship of the Pants/The Two Pants/Pants of the King) by J.R.R. Tolkien
Make Pants! Make Pants! by Harry Harrison
Pants for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Red Pants/Blue Pants/Green Pants by Kim Stanley Robinson
Snow Pants by Neal Stephenson
The Lion, the Witch and the Pants by C.S. Lewis
The Man in the High Pants by Philip K. Dick
The Pants My Destination by Alfred Bester
The Pants of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells
Titus Pants by Mervyn Peake

Bonus! (Heh-heh...I said "bonus"...)

13 SF/F Stories Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word "Pants"

"Bears Discover Pants" by Terry Bisson
"Behold the Pants" by Michael Moorcock
"Ender's Pants" by Orson Scott Card
"I Have No Pants and I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison
"Microcosmic Pants" by Theodore Sturgeon
"Pants for Leibowitz" by Walter M Miller
"Schrödinger's Pants" George Effinger
"The Cold Pants" by Tom Godwin
"The Little Black Pants" by C M Kornbluth
"The Man Who Sold the Pants" by Robert A Heinlein
"The Nine Billion Pants Of God" by Arthur C Clarke
"The Pants Men Don't See" by James Tiptree, Jr.
"Time Considered as a Helix of Semi-Precious Pants" by Samuel Delany

Camp Pants - Disch (I love the British use of the word pants to mean terrible)

Posted by A_Z on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 12:38 AM

A few of those almost sound better than the originals. What about "The Shadow of the Pants" by Gene Wolfe?

Posted by cjwriter on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 1:36 AM

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pants" by Douglas Adams

"The Martian Pants" by Ray Bradbury

"Pantsfall" by Isaac Asimov

Posted by bloginhood on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 3:11 AM

John, low hanging "bonus" fruit:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Pants
Harry Potter and the Half-pants Prince
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pants
Harry Potter and the Pants of Fire (yeah!)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Pants
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Pants (or the Pants of Secret)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Pants

Posted by Larry on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 9:00 AM

Old Man's Pants by John Scalzi

Posted by Tim on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 9:56 AM

And of course Michael Moorcock's classics

The Stealer of Pants
Pantsbringer
The Sailor on the Seas of Pants
The Vanishing Pants
and Behold the Pants

Posted by DaveT on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 9:58 AM

This is one of the most hysterical lists I've seen in ages. "I have no pants and I must scream" is just TOO perfect!

Posted by Heather on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 11:10 AM

Pantsworld - Larry Niven
Pants Messiah - Frank Herbert
A Clockwork Pants - Anthony Burgess
To Your Scattered Pants Go - Philip Jose Farmer
Flow my Pants, The Policeman said - Philip K. Dick
Dr. Bloodmoney, Or How We Got Along After The Pants - Philip K. Dick
2001: A Pants Odyssey - Arthur Clarke
Rendezvous With Pants - Arthur Clarke
I, Pants - Issac Asimov
Forever Pants - Joe Haldeman
Her Pants Rose Up Forever - James Tiptree Jr.
Pants Recognition - William Gibson
Starship Pants - Robert Heinlein
The Pants Machine - H.G. Wells
War Of The Pants - H.G. Wells
The Left Pants of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin
The World of Pants-A - A.E Van Vogt
The Strange Pants of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
First And Last Pants - Olaf Stapledon
Newton's Pants: A Space Opera - Ken Macleod
The Pants Exultant: The Golden Age - John C. Wright
Pants, With Occasional Music - Jonathan Lethem
Hacker And The Pants - Rudy Rucker
The Dream-Quest of Unknown Pants - H.P. Lovecraft
At The Pants of Madness - H.P. Lovecraft
Herbert West--Pants - H.P. Lovecraft
Pantslike Infinity - Stephen Baxter

Posted by DJ on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 11:43 AM

If you want to break outside of the genre, THE PANTS OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS.

Posted by Matt Jarpe on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 12:26 PM

The graphic novel world is full of them....

Justice League of Pants
X-Pants
Pantsman
Superpants

They all wear tight pants anyway.

Posted by Larry on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 12:41 PM

Pants have invaded my brain, John! Must...resist...

The Plot to Save Pants by Paul Levinson.

Posted by Larry on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 12:46 PM

Honored!

My contribution: When Pants Collide by Philip Gordon Wylie & Edwin Balmer

Posted by Paul Levinson on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 12:56 PM

For a Levinson book, I would have gone with The Silk Pants.

And I am ashamed to admit I missed some of these myself...Old Man's Pants, Pants, With Occasional Music, Harry Potter and the Pants of Fire, "Pantsfall"..all comedy gold.

One note: Maggie has a correction on the Tolkien book: it should be The Two Trousers. That's way too funny to complain about breaking the letter of the title.

Posted by John on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 1:33 PM

Oooh...here's another one: The Pants That Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis.

Posted by John on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 2:15 PM

I could have gone with The Pants to Save Socrates by Paul L., but it would clash with the toga, eh?

Must not think of pants, must not think of pants...

Posted by Larry on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 2:37 PM

The Nine Princes of Pants - Roger Zelazny

Posted by Greg O'Byrne on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 3:05 PM

This thread puts the "Praise to Pants" song from MST3K in my head.

They help suck in your gut
And they cover up your butt

Pants!

Posted by Matt Jarpe on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 3:31 PM

Pretty funny
How 'bout some classics:

The Pants of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Fall of the House of Pants - Edgar Allen Poe
Alice's Pants in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
The Adventures of Huckleberry Pants - Mark Twain
The Pants of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
Beopants by Anonymous
Pants and Prejudice - Jane Austin
Pants Lost - John Milton

Posted by Barbara on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 3:35 PM

You can view the Pants Song here. It starts at around 3:20. (Deep Hurting)

How did I miss this song with this post?

Posted by jp on Thursday August 02, 2007 at 5:09 PM