Dear Mr. Postman
Dear Mr. Postman,
Hello. I hope this holiday season is treating you well and you are able to find the time to relax and enjoy this festive time of year. If I had to bet money it, I’d say you are definitely finding time to relax since you don’t deliver my mail until 4 PM and sometimes even 5:30 (which unfortunately amounts to the next business day heaven forbid I have some urgent matter to handle via U.S. post). That leaves a full eight hours for you to sit back and enjoy all the magazines you “borrow” from the mail you are meant to deliver. Magazines like, say, the Locus Magazine that I always receive late. And opened.
It’s OK. I’m not mad. Actually it’s nice to know there’s someone who shares my enthusiasm for the magazine. It’s always a good read, don’t you think? All I ask is that after you sloppily rip open the seal and bend the pages that you read the magazine as quickly as possible. After all, it’s not fair that the one who pays for the subscription should be made to wait, is it? (Past 5:30, anyway.)
Any cooperation in this delicate matter would be greatly appreciated.
Regards,
John DeNardo
P.S. I received your notes and I apologize for when the kids park their cars in the street, slightly blocking the mail truck from pulling up alongside the mailbox. It is truly a shame that you have to physically get up out of your well-worn chair and take one step away from the mail truck to reach our mailbox about once every five months. In their defense, they are assuming (incorrectly) that the mail is delivered by 5 PM. Still, that’s no excuse and you can rest assured that they have been reprimanded. I’d even go so far as to hit them on the nose with a rolled-up magazine, but unfortunately you are still reading it.
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If you’re getting your mail opened, then it is a matter for the Postal Police. Go to the supervisor of your local branch and tell them you have a complaint to file about mail getting opened.
If somebody’s a SF fan, they should subscribe on their own! Man, don’t stand for some a**hat messing with a sacred source of information like Locus!
Just be grateful you have a mailbox – I no longer do but instead have one of those centralized mail centers. True, it is at the end of my driveway and convenient for getting my mail, but it’s not the most attractive item I’d put in my side yard. Of course there are others that have to walk down to the end of the block to get their mail (and while I agree we should all walk a little more, its unpleasant in the rain.)
This time of year is busy for the old USPS and frankly I’m willing to cut them some slack. I agree with Fred on opening your mail though – that’s not cool.
Speaking of mail, I still believe that the USPS is a tremendous value. UPS or FedEx charge much more for their services, and while they guarantee delivery dates the cost difference is tremendous. FedEx an envelope from Houston to New York and it will cost you $13 for 3-day delivery – the cheapest rate FedEx offers. Send the same letter via USPS and it will cost you just 39 cents (with no agreement on delivery time.) FedEx is 34 times more expensive than USPS.
More postal facts – while the actual rate has gone up, adjusted for inflation the rate is the same as it was in 1971! And before you go claiming the USPS is being subsidized by tax dollars, it no longer is – and in fact hasn’t been since 1982. Through 2004, the USPS operates at largely break-even (as it is supposed to.)
So, I see that Locus Online has posted the contents for the August 2006 issue.
http://www.locusmag.com/2006/Issues/08Profile.html
Anybody want to place a bet as to how late John will be getting his copy?
(H)
I never got my July issue, darn it. Do you think my postman reads this blog?
I don’t want to miss the August issue. It features, among other things, an interview with John C. Wright!
Well, being that I am reading his July issue right… er I mean I cannot imagine what would be holding up the delivery of his magazines. I would speak with the postal inspector about this travesty!!! Have at them!!