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SF Tidbits for 7/27/06

About John DeNardo (13013 Articles)
John DeNardo is the Managing Editor at SF Signal and a columnist at Kirkus Reviews. He also likes bagels. So there.

1 Comment on SF Tidbits for 7/27/06

  1. Where are you on the Hierarchy of Geeks?

    Hierarchy of Geeks… hmmm… lemmee see.

    Aha! I am a published SF author, so I must be at the top. And, of authors at the top, (shameless plug) I just wrote a sequel to grandmaster A.E. van Vogt’s Null-A books, which are legendary, and it looks like negotiations between the estate and the publisher are nearing success … which means I am the coolest of the cool guys, like, since time was invented. I got to decide what happens to Ruthless Space Dictator Enro the Red and the mysterious being known as The Follower, and decide who Patricia Hardie really was, and where Gilbert Gosseyn actually came from and when and why. The plot tosses galaxies into each other like frelling Blackie DuQuense, and if you young whippersnappers don’t know who that is, you need to read more 1930’s space opera. I blew up the whole universe at least twice in this book. By the hammer of Grampthar, if this book gets published, I’ll be twice as happy as Tom Bombadil. (/shameless plug)

    Top of the hierarchy! Er… On the other hand, one of my books contains a bit or erotic fiction involving a fourth dimensional girl with deer legs and wings, so perhaps that counts as ‘erotic furries.’ I both prefer anime with and without subtitles, and I call it Japanimation, so I must be in the middle, and look down on myself.

    And there I did write two stories set in other people’s backgrounds, so that counts as fanfic. But I got paid for them. And I am a Pokemon fan over six years old. But I have a six year old you watches Pokemon, so that is not my fault.

    Er … and there is that erotic fanfic I wrote where Kirk was a raccoon and Spock was a stoat, but a character based on me but furry saved Lt. Uhura from psychokinetic Platonists or maybe Melvar the Fanboy Energy Being, and it was the evil Lt. Uhura from the Mirror Mirror universe, who wears a torn, midriff-baring uniform with a miniskirt and a hip-hugging sash, and she was all sexy and dangerous and stuff on account of her being evil and all. And I think princess Leia in her metal bathing-beauty suit was in the same story, and my character saved her from Jar jar the Hutt. Which is so totally pathetic. Even other furry star trek fanfic writers look down on me, just because I dress my children as Klingons, and tell their teachers they can stay home on “Jedi” holidays because that’s our Ethnic Tradition. So I must be at the bottom.

    On the other hand, I actually am quite furry (see here) and I do not look like George Kennedy at all, so a certain amount of furry fiction must be permitted. On the gripping hand, authors who troll SF blogs and talk about Uhura’s midriff deserve a special pathetic category of their own.

    (AUTHOR’S NOTE FOR THE HUMOR IMPARED: only about half of what I say up here is true. I am not saying which half.)

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