In a classic moment of office conversation….

The topic rolled into the science fiction and conflicts that would cross world boundaries. At this point, you are most likely thinking that this could be a deep thought provoking discussion regarding some of the great races and powers that have been discussed within the confines of a great number of books, movies and some television shows. You would also be wrong since the conflict in question was: Ewoks versus the Borg. That’s right those plucky little furballs that we all love to hate against the assimilation machine known as the Borg. So, the question is now out there – Ewoks versus the Borg, who would win?

Mike (who now receives my Star Wars Fanboy crown) speculated that Ewoks would win only if Chewbacca was involved since he was responsible for turning the battle for the rebels in Return of the Jedi, but who is to say. Personally, I felt that the whole situation would have been resolved by simply deforesting the planet and then burning it down. That’s how you handle problems of this nature.

And to further complicate matters, what if we throw the Sleestack from Land of the Lost into the mix and make it a Battle Royale for the next possible Undead Time Travelling Entity. So I leave it you, our gentle readers, who would win this battle.

6 thoughts on “In a classic moment of office conversation….”

  1. Please, as soon as the Borg assimilated the Ewoks their collective consciousness would devolve to the point that all they were interested in was running through the forest, dancing and looking for a shiny gold robot to tell them stories. Ewoks would win by default! ;)

  2. The Sleestak? It’d take them three days to get to the battle site.

    Even back in the day when my disbelief was more easily suspended, I never understood why Marshall, Will and Holly ran away. A leisurely stroll would have been sufficient. ;)

  3. Sleestak!!!!!!!! Man those guys scared the HELL out of me when I was younger. Lead to my totally rationally fear of Zombies. Winners hands down!!! You think there are down and out then that weird bass porno music plays and they come on back to life….freaky devils!!!

  4. Personally, I felt that the whole situation would have been resolved by simply deforesting the planet and then burning it down. That’s how you handle problems of this nature.

    Now that would be a logical, nay human final solution to the Ewok problem, there is nothing that I recall in Borg lore where they used eco-cide as a technique in assimilation. Maybe there were cultures so resistant that the end result was genocide, but again, I don’t recall that being part of the storyline. I may be wrong on this.

    Futhermore, did the Borg ever eat meat?

  5. Presumably the Borg would just not bother and leave Endor alone, because what would assimilating the Ewoks give them? In which case the Ewoks would go back to singing happy songs and everyone would be happy. The end. Roll credits.

    Unless the Borg wanted the songs. Hmmmm.

  6. ……weeezzzzrrrrp…..

    “We are the Borg. Send us the Chief Ewok, Chewbacca Jones, Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, and the ‘all-being creator’ Al Gore, and someone call Japan for some Pocky, cuz’ that’s how we roll when we eat.. That is all. Resistance is futile. ZOMG!!1 LOLz teh r0X0rz!”

    ……weeezzzzrrrrp…..pop

    (H)

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