Against my better judgment and and common sense, I let the wife talk me into watching the Heroes season 3 premiere. I figured it would at least confirm my decision to turn my back on the show when I (finally) realized that season 2 sucked.

Boy, was I right to quit. This episode is just the same suckage from season 2 under the season 3 label.

This time, the show didn’t even hold me for its entirety. I gave up (again) after the first 45 minutes or so, but here’s what I wish I could forget:

*** Spoilers Ahead! ***

  1. The opening seen with future Claire pointing a gun at future Peter. Where’s the drama? What, she forgot that he mimics her healing power? Did they not have passing a grade requirement on the cheerleading squad?
  2. Sylar, like Peter, is too powerful. What’s to stop him? Oh, I guess hiding in a louver closet. Nice move, cheerleader. You’re running from a guy who can close doors and windows with the force of his mind, and slice off your skull from a distance, yet you hide in a see-through closet. So, I guess the answer is “No” to that passing grade requirement question.
  3. Hiro jumping to a future and seeing evil Ando. Come on! Hasn’t it already been established that the future is just one possible outcome? And if the future is changeable, then isn’t Hiro just relegated to constantly popping forward to see that society is running smoothly, like some time traveling lighthouse keeper?
  4. The introduction of Miss Flash was interesting, or maybe a gaffe. It showed that Hiro does not stop time as we had been led to believe, but instead it just moves really, really slowly.
  5. Mohinder gets super powers? How lame. I guess he was feeling left out, what with everyone else around him having super powers. And his impending hook-up with Maya is unnecessary soap opera and forced. (Anyone remember how “young” she was portrayed last season and how sultry she is made up to be here? No? is that just me, then?)
  6. Nikki is back! Somebody shoot me. Or make my eyes bleed black blood. I read that Nikki has no recollection of her past life, yet somehow, in this new identity, she still manages to sell her body to politicians and – even more unlikely – once again come to cross paths with Nathan.
  7. Speaking of Nathan, was it any surprise he was coming back? Linderman coming back was mildly surprising, but by then Nathan’s finding religion (because, you know, even though he knows about Peter’s and Linderman’s healing power, he suddenly finds God) had numbed me into a mild coma.

That’s it. Now I am really done. This time I mean it when I say: Heroes, you are dead to me.

Filed under: Heroes

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