SF Signal Welcomes Pete Tzinski
Just when you think we squoze (yes, that’s a word) the blogosphere dry, we’ve added a new “SF Signal Irregular“, His name is Pete Tzinski and while you trying to figure out if you liked Watchmen, he posted part 1 of an article that will make your midi-chlorians spin: Why the Star Wars Prequels Are Actually Good (Part 1).
We asked Pete to write about himself in the third person. This is what spewed forth:
Peter Tzinski was born at an early age, in a peat-bog named Peat Bog — for which he was named — in Louisiana. Unable to communicate with human beings and entirely dependent on algae for sustenance, he was brought north to be put on display. However, the “One-Tenth-Of-the-Eighth-Wonder-of-the-World” exhibit never caught on, and he was released into the care of a soon-discovered family in Minnesota. Now, he is capable of almost three hundred and fifty words of English and has expanded his diet to include tea and friend chickens. He earns money with small pieces of short fiction which nobody understands, but which they buy to make him go away. He has no discernible hairstyle. He no longer goes out in the night to prowl for chickens.
Since I didn’t know if he meant “fried chicken” of he was just miles ahead of me (as is often the case), I took his tamer bio and put that on our About page.
As a longtime reader of SF Signal, Pete knows that “New guy brings bagels”. Yay us!
Welcome aboard, Pete! Now gimme my bagel.
Related posts:
- More Eye Candy for Pete
- Tossing Pete a Bone: A Kate Beckinsale Rumor
- SF Signal Welcomes Jeff Patterson!
- SF Signal Welcomes Dave Tackett
- SF Signal Welcomes Terry Weyna
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Glad to see Pete’s still alive and scribbling!
Good find, Signal.
I was appalled, upon coming to the Godless North, to discover that there were people who heartlessly consumed chickens without first becoming close and personal friends with them. WTF, Godless North!
I maintain my old traditions, however. Every chicken is “friended” on Facebook before it is fried and consumed.
Ack! It’s Pete!
Run for the hills!!!
(just kidding, Pete. Here–lemme get ya a bagel…)
Crimines, they let just about anybody in here these days. Also, as a displaced Yankee – I have always found this befriending of chickens to be a bit odd. They were born to be fried, and I find the whole friend making process too cumbersome. Welcome Pete, and I fully expect my bagle to be toasted and given a nice shmear of cream cheese…
I’ll take mine toasted, with cream cheese and lox (not that silly spread stuff), some onion (red) and tomato. Lettuce if it ain’t wilted.
Wasn’t there some supermodel connection overlooked here?
You have found a jewel, SFSite, a jewel.
You will be amazed at what he will do for a few ounces of green tea or a banana.
Congratulations on your new man-toy!
Cinnamon bagel with cream cheese, Pete. Also, I prefer the friendless chickens. They make less of a scene when you cut off their heads and eat their young.
Lucien, he also likes elephant poop paper. That is, paper made from elephant poop. I try not to ask.
I know Lori…
I sent him a paper crane I made out of elephant poop paper for Kwanzaa, and he smoked it and “drunk dialed” me at 3:00am.
BTW, I made an error in my previous post. I called SF Signal (truly one of my favorite sites) SFSite (not nearly as good).
Please forgive me.
I was smoking elephant poop.
@Fred: that a different Pete. A Pete from SF Signal’s past. A Pete of a different color. You get the idea.
@Lucien, I caught that faux pas. SF Site is a good webiste, but even so, go stand in a corner.
Egads, you let HIM in here? Has he at least washed?
Well, if he’s handing out bagels, I’ll take mine with soy cream cheese. And pass me that elephant doobie, wouldya? It’s been a long week.