Noooooo!!!!!!! Lucas To Make Changes To Star Wars Blu-Ray

They say that nothing in life is certain but death and taxes. I’d like to add a third option: George Lucas will screw over your childhood by changing the Star Wars movie with every new release. Sure enough, Lucas is taking the opportunity of the series’ release on Blu-Ray to screw over your childhood make some much needed changes engage in his obsessive need to change things that don’t really need changing.

To wit: In the original RotJ, while the Emperor is force lightning Luke, Vader stands there but you can see him deciding to toss old Emps over the railing. In the new version, Lucas has added some dialogue for Vader. What is it? Now Vader says “No! Noooo!!!!” before hurling the human Tesla coil into oblivion. The below video is supposedly confirmed to be the new edit for the film. Watch it if you dare.

I guess I can sorta see the reason for this, but the implementation is just horrible (unless your name is James Earl Jones and you get to cash your check from Lucas). Why why why would you harken back to one of the most idiotically melodramatic moments from Revenge of the Sith? Oh right, because he can. Gah!

But wait! There’s a more!


The eagle eyed among you may have noticed the above clip has four more clips from the new Blu-Ray discs. The bad: Greedo still shoots first (Sigh) and Obi-wan’s Krayt Dragon call in Star Wars, err A New Hope.

Sounds like Obi-wan was on the receiving end of a galactic wedgie in the men’s room.

The good: The new CGI Yoda in The Phantom Menace. In the original Menace, Yoda was still portrayed via puppet, which doesn’t look correct when viewed against CGI Yoda in the last two films. Lucas fixed that by replacing puppet Yoda with CGI Yoda. The ambivalent: The Ewoks now blink their eyes. I never noticed before (probably because I was trying to look away in horror) but the Ewoks never blinked. Now they do. A nice touch? I guess.

This is the type of change I don’t mind, but then again, I don’t light stogies made of rolled up $100s with $20 bills. It’s a good thing I don’t own a Blu-Ray player as my decision not to buy the new discs now feels so, so right.

And before anyone decides to jump on me for this, I’ve already given Lucas two pounds of flesh. I have the original trilogy release on Laserdisc (and yes, there were changes then too, but mostly to SFX) and we have all 6 movies on DVD, If Lucas had made the decision to release the original theatrical movies on the Blu-Ray discs in addition to the new versions, well, I’d probably be stealing the change from my kids’ pockets to buy a PS3…

14 thoughts on “Noooooo!!!!!!! Lucas To Make Changes To Star Wars Blu-Ray”

  1. If he would just release the original untouched versions I would buy the Blue-ray set in a heart beat.  No way I’m buying them with all the new crap.

  2. Well, at least I know about it this time.  When I bought the “originals” on DVD for the very first time (remember when that was a big deal?  I pre-ordered those suckers from Kmart!), I didn’t know they’d made all those friggin changes.  And I was pissed.  I mean, fine, if you want to put the special edition nonsense in them and change the ghosts on ROTJ, that’s cool, but *only* if you have the original versions too.  Fans don’t mind fiddling so long as they get to keep their old time love in proper form…

    Meh.

  3. Gah. Why did they have to take one of the best payoffs (THE best payoff?) of the entire first trilogy and add that corny Nooo! to it? What, picking up the Emperor and throwing him into a plasma food disposal didn’t speak Nooo! loudly enough?

    Does anyone know if the originals are available intact as a DVD?

  4. Not sure why you did not already know this(notice I did not say Expect)

    Lucas changing these films so he can (RE)release them with cosmetic changes that some how make everyone jump is a known fact.  Its happned over and over and over again.

    Basicly heres his buisness model

    Theatrical re’Release/DVD/Theatrical Special Edition/DVD Special Edition

    Its a 4 prong attack(actually 5 with the OG and 6 with Blue Ray)

     

    What a Money Grubber

  5. Han shot first, dammit, and always will in my mind.  Integral to the evolution of the character, from self-centered, sociopathic, amoral outlaw to committed, self-sacrificing, leader in the later films.  Of all the edits, that’s the one I hated the most.  Always will.

    Also in the original Star Wars (okay … ANH), the addition of the Jabba-in-the-launch-bay sequence was worthless drivel.  We are led to believe by Greedo that Jabba is just about ready to cut Han’s ***** off and show it to him before he kills him.  So when Han meets him in the launch bay he simply tells Jabba that he will pay him soon and chill out, at which point Jabba states the Hut equivalent of “Well, okay.  Seeya later…” and that’s it.  I doubt he would have gotten off that easy with the Corleones.

    Pluses:  The added spacecraft EFX were better.

    Shouldas:  Why, oh why, however did Lucas not redo the lame “model-X-Wings-explode-with-little-puffs-of-flame” shots during the Death Star battle.  Lame then and still lame today.  It looked like models exploding then, and still does.  Reminded me of the lame shots of the exploding Mosquito bombers in “633 Squadron” with Cliff Robertson.

    Best overall plus:  Replacement of the final music at the end of RotJ in the re-edit.  The original was awful.

  6. Han did not shoot first. “Shot First” implies that there was more than one shot.

    There wasnt.

    Greedo never fired.

    And somebody needs to call FPS (Film Protection Service) on Lucas and take those poor abused films into protective custody.

    TW

  7. Han shot before Greedo could shoot him. In popular vernacular, that means he “shot first.” 

    I guess it will be 40 or 50 years before some archivist discovers the “lost” original versions in a storeroom somewhere and “restores” them, then releases them to the public as classic films — “recently discovered and remastered original theatrical versions.” 

     

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