Guy Hasson is an SF author and a filmmaker. His latest books are Secret Thoughts by Apex Books and The Emoticon Generation by Infinity Plus. His 45-minute epic SF film, The Indestructibles, which he wrote and directed, will be released on the web in a few weeks, and his start-up New Worlds Comics will go live in July.
An SF Legend Is Born
Mary Belle teaches Guy Hasson How to Blow the Minds of SF Fans
by Guy Hasson
I am highly disappointed with you SF Signal readers.
I didn’t want to return to Mary Belle, CEO of Digital Kingmakers. But you forced me to. Twice now.
To those of you with short memories: It started with a harmless guest post on SF Signal, a funny post that received no comments. Out of nowhere, I received a phone from Ms. Belle, claiming her GPO (Guest Post Optimization) expertise could make my guest posts go viral. I went out of curiosity and was outraged by her opinion of SF readers. And yet that post received 17 comments, viral by SF Signal standards and was chosen as one of the top 30 posts for that month.
True to my public word, I returned to Digital Kingmakers, where I received psycho, psychedelic insight into the psyche of the SF readers. (Don’t remember? What if I told you Benedict Cumberbatch, Neil Gaiman, and Guy Hasson walked into a bar?) I was enraged again. I claimed it would never work. Again. But Ms. Belle’s assertion that that one post would increase my sales in 1,000% a month were on the nose. A month has passed, and The Emoticon Generation‘s Amazon sales went up by exactly 1,000%. I begged you not to buy my book. Against my own financial interest. I begged you. But you didn’t listen. On top of which, that post received 17 comments too, and was chosen as one of the top 25 posts for that month. Again.
It’s like you want me to go back to her. Do you not realize what a nightmare those meetings are?
Well, I kept my word and returned to Digital Kingmakers for a third time. While the first time was infuriating and the second time was psychedelic, the third time topped them all by being so outrageous that had I written about it in a story, you would never have believed it.
Before we start, close your eyes. Try and imagine the craziest thing that could happen. I promise you that whatever you come up is not half as crazy as what really happened. I. Promise.
So. For the last time. Here’s what happened.