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CONTEST: Create Your Own Trek Attraction

This Wired News article talks about Borg Invasion 4D, a Star Trek: Voyager-themed adventure ride. Which seems like a good subject for a long-overdue contest.

What Trek-Themed Attraction/Ride Would You Most Want to See?

Winners receive 150 points.

Here are some off the top of my head:

  1. Wesley Crusher’s Career Sky-Screamer
  2. Captain Kirk’s Tunnel of Love
  3. Yeoman Rand’s Tunnel of Love
  4. Worf’s Bed-of-Spikes
  5. Whack-A-Borg
  6. TOS Red Shirt Skeet Shoot
  7. Scotty’s Irish Pub
  8. Lieutenant Uhura-Go-Round

About John DeNardo (13013 Articles)
John DeNardo is the Managing Editor at SF Signal and a columnist at Kirkus Reviews. He also likes bagels. So there.

8 Comments on CONTEST: Create Your Own Trek Attraction

  1. Courtesy of Dan’s mom’s son:

    • The Wraft of Khan
    • T?cups of T?Pol
  2. Shouldn’t that be:

    D’Cups of T’Pol

    or for those more lifted and seperated days:

    DD’Cups of T’pol

  3. Wow, JP got to the boob joke before me, I must be losing my touch…

    BTW, Scotty is Scottish. I reckon he won’t be very happy about the mix-up let alone open up an Irish pub!

    1. Adult Section (You have to be 18 and older to ride)

    2. Menage a Troi with Deanna and Ensign Lefler
    3. William Riker’s Island of Alien Space Girls
      General Admissions

    1. Captain Picard’s Shino-Ballo Bowl-a-rama
    2. Spock’s Hobbit Sing-a-long Petting Zoo
    3. T-Bones’ Irish Bistro (medic on duty 24/7)
    4. Shaka Sulu’s Asian Safari (Don’t feed the animals)
    5. Rockin’ Sockin’ Androids with Data and Lore
    6. Jean-Luc’s House of Picard

    Coming Soon, in time for the Halloween House of Horror…

    Gene Roddenberry’s Rotting Corpse Display (No flash photography, please)

  4. How ’bout a ride where you’re shunted back in time and have to prevent Rick Berman from ruining the franchise. You bounce around in a motion simulator as your ship naviagates the smoggy contours of Beverly Hills. When you find his obscenely large estate, built from the shattered dreams and perpetually lowered expectations of unsuspecting SF fans, your sensors detect the energy signatures of good allegories corrupted beyond recognition. Berman appears on the viewscrren and laughs maniacally: “Fools! You cannot destroy me! I gave you Seven of Nine! I rule the geek empire! Kneel before me!”

    You send out a subspace signal and a wormhole forms in the sky above. Through the terminus emerge Lexx, Maya from Farscape, and an armada of Babylon 5 Shadow vessels. White hot plasma beams boil the air as they lance downward and atomize the abode, as well as all the bad scripts, treatments and ideas for new shows held within. As the freed spirits of Vulcans, Klingons and Borg thank you for delivering them, you turn to your navigator and say “plot a course for Skywalker Ranch.”

  5. I think Jeff wins!

  6. bah! I didnt know we can write a whole paragraph, I thought we’re just coming up with cleverly (read: dorkily) named rides…

  7. Magnificent Jeff – the whole thing made me giddy….

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