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Need a Milford Trenyan?

Then its a good thing the Rockwell Retro-Encabulator is on the job!

Its amazing to me that this guy can get through this thing with a straight face. Even more amazing is that he, it seems to me, memorized the lines and is able to incorporate natural hand-motions into the sales pitch. Very funny stuff.

About JP Frantz (2323 Articles)
Has nothing interesting to say so in the interest of time, will get on with not saying it.

12 Comments on Need a Milford Trenyan?

  1. I felt dirty watching that, but I bet if we just posted a transcript of the dialog our Lix score would be out of this world…

  2. I don’t think it’s real. The blurb on the site says it’s an enhancement of a Rockwell sales video.

    Still, I wonder what the heck it is that he IS selling!

  3. A retro encabulator of course – with dingle arms and a bunch of really strange words smooshed together…

  4. “The main winding was of the normal Lotus odeltoid type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator.”

    Go, go gadget Lix!

  5. “With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only provides inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal gram meters. Such an instrument comprised of Dodge Gears and Bearings, Reliance Electric Motors, Allen-Bradley Controls, and all monitored by Rockwell Software is Rockwell Automations Retro Encabulator. Now basically the only new principle involved is instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, its produced by the modial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive duractance.

    The original machine had a base-plate of pre-fabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The lineup consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzel-vanes, so fitted to the ambifasciant lunar wane shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-deltoid type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible Tremie pipe to the differential girdle spring on the “up” end of the gram meters.”

    I tried to transcribe the whole thing, but I was giggling too hard. I will also say that some of this is reproduced elsewhere on the web talking about a Turbo-Encabulator…

  6. I suspect I’m the only person here who has actually participated in the filming of such a video. I was working with a professional news correspondent (he had appeared on Houston TV for a couple of years) and I got to learn one of the ‘tricks of the trade’ that some take advantage of. He pre-recorded exactly what he wanted to say onto a tape recorder in his jacket pocket connected to an earpiece that allowed him to play it back while we were taping. Basically, his voice from the tape says exactly the words he then personally delivered to the camera, only with about a half second delay. This pretty much let him say anything without having to memorize it.

    I was told by the crew that not everybody can do this and that this particular guy was a master at it. I have no doubt that with such a technique he could have appeared to be speaking about anything (instead of some obscure piece of systems management technology we had him speaking on.) Thus, this video might have been shot as a bit of comedy (something to show at the Rockwell employee meeting perhaps) while they were also shooting a real video.

  7. And from what I’ve seen on the web about this video, that is exactly what appears to have happened. The video guys had some fun with the shoot. I didn’t see anything in the sales guy’s ear, but the video is rather pixelated.

    I’m actually in a video that Compaq shot a long time ago covering CIM integration with other management products. And I went to the editing session at an AV company here in town. Extremely cool. I believe they were using an ‘off-brand’ non-linear editing system. Of course, ‘off-brand’ to me means “I’ve never heard of it”, while to the industry it means “Second in market share”…

  8. Just a note from an “old timer”: this video is derived from a “spoof” data sheet made on official looking General Electric stationary. It used most of the terms used in this video, the prefabulated amulite, the spurving bearings, etc.

    I believe it’s at least 20 years old in that incarnation.

    An associate of mine, while at one of GE’s main headquarters for training, went to the documentation department, and asked for the GE document, HBK 0359. It appeared in the document list, but the guy returned and said he was sorry, and would be unable to give my friend a copy.

    My friend did have a xerox copy obtained from someone in GE field service.

  9. Well everything makes sence except I cant understand those darn hydrocoptic marzel-vanes and how they fit up to the ambifasciant lunar wang shaft. Ohwell maybe if I watch the video some more Ill understand it!!!

  10. Sent a large synchronous motor out for a detailed analysis and this is the reply I got….Hmm I smell a rat.


    We have just received an analysis of the MR motor failure. As you know, the slip rings were pitted. But how did this happen. Well basically, a detailed forensic-style analysis determined that there was excessive sinusoidal deplemuration of the hydroscopic marsal vanes due to inverse reactive current in the unilateral phase detractor. To prevent this problem in the future, I have ordered a set of Cardinal Gram Meters to be installed in a new Retro-Encabulator. Rather than generating power by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, this will allow power to be generated by the modial reaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive duractance. The baseplate of prefamulated amulite surmounted within a malleable logarithmic casing will allow the two swerthing bearings to align perfectly with the panametric fan. This lineup of six hydrocoptic marsal vanes so fitted to the amberficient lunar wane shaft that it will prevent side fumbling. A new motor will be required for this new encabulator. The main winding is a Lotus-O-Deltoid type placed in panamdermic semi-boloid slots of the stator with every seventh conductor connected by a non-reversible trunion pipe to the differential girdle spring on the upend of the gram meters. In order for this application to work successfully, we will need to install a drawn reciprocation dingle arm in the maintenance managers office to monitor the thrust of the amberficient lunar wane shaft.

    John, you need to get an AFE initiated immediately to get us moving on this MR motor upgrade. The price may be a little steep; however, compared to the huge dollar-a-day loss in production, I believe that we cannot afford to waste another day before installing this state-of-the-art technology.


  11. where’s the WIKI entry for prefamlated amulite?

    someone should really update that wiki….

    if i remember correctly, it’s a semiconductor alloy of aluminum and helium

    (lighter than air).


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