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Things That Annoy Me

Reminded of constant annoyances by CNET’s article on Technology’s 10 most inexcusable failures, I thought I’d list my own, if only to create some one-stop-shopping for those times when I’m feeling a little too upbeat.

  • Not being able to edit phone numbers on a landline phone – In recognition of the CNET article, I should probably start off with the one on that list that annoys me too. My digits aren’t dexterous enough to keep up with how fast my admittedly-failing memory recalls the number. 90% of the times I misdial, it’s on the last number. Grrrr!
  • Using PDF files for simple text – Adobe Acrobat Reader is worse than useless. I never need it as a standalone and the browser plugin is slow to load. Then, to add insult to injury, the damn AcroRd32.exe service is still running in memory long after the browser is closed. Thanks Adobe! That’s about as useful as the investor relations link at Enron’s website.
  • Web sites that require free registration to access free content – Do the ass-clown webmasters at these sites not realize that most of us are using throwaway email addresses? Catch a clue, Einstein; we’re not idiots. Well, OK, maybe Tron Guy is.
  • Popup windows – In the beginning there was the annoying popup window. Then came the popup window killers. Now there are annoying popup windows that occasionally circumvent the popup killers. Too late! By now the popup nuisance has become so well-known that I just immediately close them before the page even loads. So why do websites still bother? I’m not interested in receiving spam for a supposedly free dining card or a free IQ test. So stop it. It would be a different story, of course, if you enticed me with something worthwhile like, say, circus hamsters. I’d click on that.
  • Long checkout lines at electronics stores – The local Best Buy is a prime example of a store whose staffing policies only serve to as an impediment to collecting my money. Why is it that when I go there less than half of the twelve registers are open? Sometimes only 3 registers are open! There are always long lines there. Do the geek wizards in charge of this place not realize that the guy buying the big screen TV in front of me is paying the salaries of a fully-staffed register complement for the whole week? That just makes we want to go postal.
  • Telemarketers – I’m on every do-not-call list that exists and I’ve even traveled forward in time to make sure I’m on the ones that have yet to be written. However, I still get calls (mostly pre-recorded) from telemarketers. I like to combine revenge and altruism and lay the phone down on the table and walk away. The time that the message is sounding off to nobody is time not annoying someone else. I then use the time to relax doing Cthulhu Origami in my own Aunt Jemima Garden.

OK, I’m done whining. But I reserve the right to whine again at some later date.

About John DeNardo (13013 Articles)
John DeNardo is the Managing Editor at SF Signal and a columnist at Kirkus Reviews. He also likes bagels. So there.

8 Comments on Things That Annoy Me

  1. I may be an idiot, but not about free registration for free content. That annoys me too. Fortunately, that’s what is for.

  2. Touché, Tron Guy! 🙂

  3. I am disappointed 🙁 that John would inadvertently disparage someone of Mr. Maynard’s celebrity. I should clarify, disappointed, but not surprised. I informed John earlier today that I had seen Tron Guy on the Jimmy Kimmel Show multiple times. All I can say is that Tron Guy was always entertaining on JKS. Keep up the good work Tron Guy!

  4. Oh, I don’t mind, Rich…I’m used to people drawing the wrong conclusions about me if all they see is the web site. If I’ve learned nothing else over the past year, I’ve learned that the comments of others don’t change who I am. All I can do is go on about my business, and have fun doing it – which I have. Enough folks have said nice things after seeing me in person or on TV that the rest don’t worry me any more. You, too. Thanks.

  5. If it would help, I could go and physically abuse John. I am sure we can even garner support for such an activity. Heck, I may start up a page (with registration of course) to allow donations to the Bludgeon John Fund – better yet I will find some telemarketers work to drum up additional dollars. Which we will then offer as a popup and transcript in only PDF format.

    Glad that I could help in making the world a happier place 🙂

  6. Can I add an annoyance? I know, everything annoys me, but this one the most:

    The Clueless Tech at a Computer Store

    so much so, that I’ve come up with a jingo along the lines of the Bud Light radio ads

    The following is to be sung to the same melody…

    SFSignal presents, “Real IT Zeroes”

    [Chorus: Real IT Zeroes…]

    Today, we salute you: Mr. Clueless Fry’s Electronics Tech

    [Chorus: Mr. Clueless Fry’s Electronics Tech…]

    You have names like Alejandro, or Ahmed, or Xi-Wing and you abuse the native tongue like it slaughtered your family

    [Chorus: What the heck did he say??]

    Your potbelly-shaped white shirt and jargon-laden rhetorics might’ve fooled gramps and the occasional redneck…

    [Chorus: Gigabytes, Gigazhertz…and rednecks at Fry’s…]

    So pop open a Crud Lite, oh faux guardian of gadgets

    [Chorus: Capt Clueless…]

    Because if not for you, we’d have to take that crummy minimum wage job and and actually help people by providing real answers!

    [Chorus: $6.05/hr to talk down to people with the wrong answers…]

    The day that I saw Tim at Fry’s I had asked a “tech” there a simple question, “Hey, I saw this HDD for this price with rebates at (Fry’s website), can you please point me to it on the shelves?” Mr. Clueless patronizingly told me “No, there isn’t because those are web prices (he didnt even know what was) and this is a store…” With an equally clueless gait, he scurried away as I picked up the item from the shelf behind him exactly as described online! What a freaking loser!

  7. Ryan Sutherland // September 22, 2005 at 3:39 pm //

    Hey 🙂

    I followed you Cthulhu origami link. Those models are amazing, and I dig the sandworm, too. I’m a bit of an origami affectionado, and a Call of Cthulhu nerd, and I was wondering if you could direct me to some Cthulhu/Lovecraftian patters. The ones you’ve linked too really hard, but I’d be willing to learn em.


  8. 😛 so funny , so true. thats all i have 2 say


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