News Ticker

21 SF/F Books Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word “Pants”

Because there’s more to life than tidbits…

21 SF/F Books Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word “Pants”

  1. 20,000 Pants Under the Sea by Jules Verne
  2. A Fire Upon the Pants/A Deepness in the Pants by Vernor Vinge
  3. A Journey to the Center of the Pants by Jules Verne
  4. A Song of Ice and Pants by George R. R. Martin
  5. A Stranger in Strange Pants by Robert A. Heinlein
  6. Altered Pants by Richard K. Morgan
  7. Do Androids Dream of Electric Pants? by Philip K. Dick
  8. Fallen Pants by Peter F. Hamilton
  9. His Majesty’s Pants by Naomi Novik
  10. Lest Pants Fall by L. Sprague De Camp
  11. Little, Pants by John Crowley
  12. Lord of the Pants (Fellowship of the Pants/The Two Pants/Pants of the King) by J.R.R. Tolkien
  13. Make Pants! Make Pants! by Harry Harrison
  14. Pants for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
  15. Red Pants/Blue Pants/Green Pants by Kim Stanley Robinson
  16. Snow Pants by Neal Stephenson
  17. The Lion, the Witch and the Pants by C.S. Lewis
  18. The Man in the High Pants by Philip K. Dick
  19. The Pants My Destination by Alfred Bester
  20. The Pants of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells
  21. Titus Pants by Mervyn Peake

Bonus! (Heh-heh…I said “bonus”…)

13 SF/F Stories Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word “Pants”

  1. “Bears Discover Pants” by Terry Bisson
  2. “Behold the Pants” by Michael Moorcock
  3. “Ender’s Pants” by Orson Scott Card
  4. “I Have No Pants and I Must Scream” by Harlan Ellison
  5. “Microcosmic Pants” by Theodore Sturgeon
  6. “Pants for Leibowitz” by Walter M Miller
  7. “Schrödinger’s Pants” George Effinger
  8. “The Cold Pants” by Tom Godwin
  9. “The Little Black Pants” by C M Kornbluth
  10. “The Man Who Sold the Pants” by Robert A Heinlein
  11. “The Nine Billion Pants Of God” by Arthur C Clarke
  12. “The Pants Men Don’t See” by James Tiptree, Jr.
  13. “Time Considered as a Helix of Semi-Precious Pants” by Samuel Delany
About John DeNardo (13012 Articles)
John DeNardo is the Managing Editor at SF Signal and a columnist at Kirkus Reviews. He also likes bagels. So there.

19 Comments on 21 SF/F Books Whose Titles Would Be Funnier if They Used the Word “Pants”

  1. Camp Pants – Disch (I love the British use of the word pants to mean terrible)

  2. A few of those almost sound better than the originals. What about “The Shadow of the Pants” by Gene Wolfe?

  3. “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Pants” by Douglas Adams

    “The Martian Pants” by Ray Bradbury

    “Pantsfall” by Isaac Asimov

  4. John, low hanging “bonus” fruit:

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Pants

    Harry Potter and the Half-pants Prince

    Harry Potter and the Order of the Pants

    Harry Potter and the Pants of Fire (yeah!)

    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Pants

    Harry Potter and the Chamber of Pants (or the Pants of Secret)

    Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Pants

  5. Old Man’s Pants by John Scalzi

  6. And of course Michael Moorcock’s classics

    The Stealer of Pants


    The Sailor on the Seas of Pants

    The Vanishing Pants

    and Behold the Pants

  7. This is one of the most hysterical lists I’ve seen in ages. “I have no pants and I must scream” is just TOO perfect!

  8. Pantsworld – Larry Niven

    Pants Messiah – Frank Herbert

    A Clockwork Pants – Anthony Burgess

    To Your Scattered Pants Go – Philip Jose Farmer

    Flow my Pants, The Policeman said – Philip K. Dick

    Dr. Bloodmoney, Or How We Got Along After The Pants – Philip K. Dick

    2001: A Pants Odyssey – Arthur Clarke

    Rendezvous With Pants – Arthur Clarke

    I, Pants – Issac Asimov

    Forever Pants – Joe Haldeman

    Her Pants Rose Up Forever – James Tiptree Jr.

    Pants Recognition – William Gibson

    Starship Pants – Robert Heinlein

    The Pants Machine – H.G. Wells

    War Of The Pants – H.G. Wells

    The Left Pants of Darkness – Ursula K. Le Guin

    The World of Pants-A – A.E Van Vogt

    The Strange Pants of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson

    First And Last Pants – Olaf Stapledon

    Newton’s Pants: A Space Opera – Ken Macleod

    The Pants Exultant: The Golden Age – John C. Wright

    Pants, With Occasional Music – Jonathan Lethem

    Hacker And The Pants – Rudy Rucker

    The Dream-Quest of Unknown Pants – H.P. Lovecraft

    At The Pants of Madness – H.P. Lovecraft

    Herbert West–Pants – H.P. Lovecraft

    Pantslike Infinity – Stephen Baxter

  9. If you want to break outside of the genre, THE PANTS OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS.

  10. The graphic novel world is full of them….

    Justice League of Pants




    They all wear tight pants anyway.

  11. Pants have invaded my brain, John! Must…resist…

    The Plot to Save Pants by Paul Levinson.


  12. Honored!

    My contribution: When Pants Collide by Philip Gordon Wylie & Edwin Balmer

  13. For a Levinson book, I would have gone with The Silk Pants. 😉

    And I am ashamed to admit I missed some of these myself…Old Man’s Pants, Pants, With Occasional Music, Harry Potter and the Pants of Fire, “Pantsfall”..all comedy gold.

    One note: Maggie has a correction on the Tolkien book: it should be The Two Trousers. That’s way too funny to complain about breaking the letter of the title. 🙂

  14. Oooh…here’s another one: The Pants That Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis.

  15. I could have gone with The Pants to Save Socrates by Paul L., but it would clash with the toga, eh?

    Must not think of pants, must not think of pants…

  16. The Nine Princes of Pants – Roger Zelazny

  17. This thread puts the “Praise to Pants” song from MST3K in my head.

    They help suck in your gut

    And they cover up your butt


  18. Pretty funny

    How ’bout some classics:

    The Pants of the Baskervilles – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

    The Fall of the House of Pants – Edgar Allen Poe

    Alice’s Pants in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll

    The Adventures of Huckleberry Pants – Mark Twain

    The Pants of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas

    Beopants by Anonymous

    Pants and Prejudice – Jane Austin

    Pants Lost – John Milton

  19. You can view the Pants Song here. It starts at around 3:20. (Deep Hurting)

    How did I miss this song with this post?

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: