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MIND MELD: Should Star Wars Be Rebooted?

[Do you have an idea for a future Mind Meld? Let us know!]

This week’s Mind Meld had a bit of setup involved before getting to the question. Here is what we sent our panelists for this week.

After talking with some of the new hires where I work, I’ve come to realize that most of them have never seen the original Star Wars movies. Instead, their knowledge of Star Wars comes from its pervasiveness in our culture and from the later prequel movies or The Clone Wars. Given the success of the Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica reboots, our question is:

Q: Should Star Wars be rebooted?

Here’s what they said…

Scott Lynch
Born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1978, Scott Lynch is the author of the Gentleman Bastard sequence of fantasy crime novels, which began with The Lies of Locke Lamora and continues with Red Seas Under Red Skies and the forthcoming The Republic of Thieves. His work has been published in more than fifteen languages and twenty countries, and he was a World Fantasy Award finalist in the Best Novel category in 2007. Scott currently lives in Wisconsin and has been a volunteer firefighter since 2005.

No. Emphatically, categorically, absolutely and in all conceivable flavors of no, NO. Hell no. Star Wars is a delicious fluke, a naive and energetic pastiche-o-rama written by a guy who didn’t realize he really couldn’t write, but with verve and passion and warmly human characters that made up for it. It was a cultural and artistic landmark and should be allowed to keep its full period charm. . . no more CGI updates, no more scribbling over the original work of actors and puppeteers and model-makers from the 1970s, and certainly no remake, at least not until I’m long dead and thus cured of giving a damn.

Anyone dreaming of remaking this thing should try just writing their own damned flashy super-duper space opera. Everything in Star Wars is straight out of common stock; it’s pastiche after pastiche and homage after homage, and all of those elements are fair game to play with from now until the ending of the world. Hire someone who can actually write, produce a script actually worth filming, and shoot it under the direction of someone who loves the themes and trappings of pulpy science fantasy. It’d be like planting a money tree. But will anyone do this? Of course not. They’ll remake The Last Starfighter as a vehicle for Justin Bieber or something. God save me, I’m 32 and I’m already manning the window, ready to shout at kids to get off my lawn. Well, anyone thinking of remaking Star Wars is definitely standing on my lawn.

Bruce Bethke
Bruce Bethke was an award-winning SF novelist, until his involvement with the disastrous Wild Wild West reboot kneecapped his career. Now he writes media criticism for BenBella Books, among other things. You

can reach him at

A: No.

Longer answer: Hell, no.

Longest answer of all: I think you’re making a serious mistake by looking at Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica. The movies you should be looking at are Superman Returns, Peter Jackson’s King Kong, and the original Logan’s Run.

There is a slim — very slim, vanishingly slim — chance that a reboot of Star Wars might work as well as the Star Trek reboot did. But considering the “Special Edition” fiasco — remember the “Han shot first” argument? — there is an almost infinitely greater probability that any reboot of Star Wars would be far more like Superman Returns or Jackson’s King Kong than anything good: it would be merely bigger, longer, louder, more expensive, and *stupider* than the original.

Sure it would have a bigger budget and better CGI; that’s a given. Sure, it would have better actors. Who in Hollywood couldn’t resist the chance to own just a small piece of the Star Wars money-making machine? (“Starring MICHAEL CERA as LUKE SKYWALKER, ROBERT DOWNEY JR. as HAN SOLO, and ROBERT DE NIRO as JABBA THE HUTT!”)

But think of Logan’s Run, which was the big-budget sci-fi movie of the year 1 BSW (Before Star Wars). Particulary, consider Jenny Agutter’s “Jessica” as compared to Carrie Fisher’s “Leia.”

Jessica was everything Hollywood thought a sci-fi heroine should be in 1976. She jiggled nicely; she screamed; she needed lots of rescuing. When they emerged from the fight in the fish hatchery and Michael York said, “Our clothes are wet. We’d better take them all off before we freeze,” she couldn’t get naked fast enough. Do you honestly think any

writer or director working on a Star Wars reboot would be able to resist filming *this* scene?

SOLO (emerging from garbage compactor): “Our clothes are wet. We’d

better take them all off before we freeze.”

LEIA: “Yes, of course.” (begins to strip)

CHEWIE: “Grrronkhissschnorkurgle!” (translation: “Lucky you. My fur

smells like I’ve been rolling in bantha poo!”)

Or resist the urge to “Ripley up” Leia in the rest of the movie, and have her shout, “DIE, FASCIST MOTHERF@@KER!” before she caps the stormtrooper in the cargo bay of the diplomatic shuttle? Or to give her a hot and kinky BDS&M scene in the Death Star’s interrogation cell, a la Battlestar Frakalaktica? Or to give her a great “rescue

sex” scene with Han on the Falcon? Or to get her out of the command center and into the cockpit of an X-wing for the big final battle?

And don’t even get me started on what they’d do to Han Solo and the Imperial Stormtroopers in a reboot. (“Can’t you make ’em just a *little* more like Terminators?”)

The reboot of the James Bond franchise worked because there was an origin story, Casino Royale, that had never before been made into a serious film. The reboot of Battlestar Galactica worked because, to be honest, the original series was a mess. (From the writer’s P.O.V. it’s a lot easier to fix a crappy story than to recapture the spirit of a great one.) The most recent reboot of Doctor Who worked because the central idea is pretty near actor- and writer-proof, although not

apparently Fox Network proof. The reboot of Star Trek worked because, like Casino Royale, there was an origin story that was often alluded to but had never been filmed, and like Doctor Who, there was a wealth of material to work with including the established ability to travel time and rewrite history.

The original Star Wars worked when it worked because the story and the characters were straight outa 1935, which in the context of the 1970s was an incredible breath of fresh air. The original story is pure pulp adventure that aspires to monomythic status, and there is only one story there, which doesn’t allow much room for reinterpretation. The original movie is as much an artifact of its times as Casablancais, and like Casablanca, it should be left alone. Don’t mess with it. If you really feel the need to reboot the Star Wars money-making industry —

Go talk to Tim Zahn. And then make some new stories.

Mur Lafferty

Mur has written for over 15 role-playing games, one textbook, one book on podcasting, and several magazines. Her column, Geek Fu Action Grip, appears regularly in the magazine Knights of the Dinner Table, and her column Dice Totin’ Mama appeared regularly in Games Quarterly Magazine until the magazine shut down in 2007. She has published fiction with the podcast Escape Pod, Scrybe Press, Murky Depths and Hub Magazine. In 2008 her novel Playing For Keeps was picked up to be published in August by Swarm Press.

I almost want to get under a blanket and get all teary-eyed and smear my mascara and scream “LEAVE STAR WARS ALONE!”

But I don’t wear mascara, so that’s out.

Star Wars is a fascinating beast. I saw the first three movies in the theater (and countless times on video), then I came back for the reboots, then I watched the first trilogy, and the sinking feeling kept pulling at me with each ticket purchase. I definitely do not think it needs a reboot, and here are the many reasons why:

1) You can cite BSG and Star Trek as successful reboots, but honestly, they stand apart. Look at everything that has been redone that failed (Psycho comes to mind). Or heck, just look at stale sequels – Spider-Man 3, Superman 4 (with Richard Freaking Pryor), and so on. A reboot will be tough. And it will be held under the scrutiny of the fans, and likely come up lacking. Who are the fans of the new Star Trek and BSG? Are they the old fans, or the 20-something SF fans who, if they saw the originals, saw them with the “ain’t that quaint?” filter on? I honestly don’t know the marketing metrics, but I do know that I was never an old BSG fan, but I loved the new one. (Well. Until the finale. But that’s another rant.)

2) Nothing brings to mind the metaphor “beating a dead horse” more for me than Star Wars. I don’t mean the novels and the Clone Wars, etc. I mean the ever-present tweaking of the movies, the ripping apart of the prequels, the tears about Lucas’ fingers in a thirty-some-year-old pie. We need to let it go. We have pure love for Star Wars. They’re different movies than the ones being released today. Kids may not be into them; even if they’re into the Clone Wars and the video games, they’re usually not into our Star Wars. But that’s okay.

3) It almost feels like my generation thinks if Star Wars remains young and fresh, that we will remain young and fresh too. If the movie that defined an entire generation of geeks doesn’t get old, then that means we’re can deny that kids entering college these days weren’t alive when we were on campus. We’re can deny the Han belt is too tight or the Leia bra is too loose when we cosplay. And it’s not strange that we have to justify a LEGO Millennium Falcon (MSRP in the $500 range) purchase to our spouse and kids instead of our parents.

4) Rebooting Star Wars feels like denying evolution. Yes, it’s sad to realize that your favorite movie isn’t cutting edge anymore. But you know what? There are new stories. New books. New movies. If Star Wars is your existence, then you’re denying the world around you and the new, possibly even better (gasp) stories being told.

For the love of the Force, let it go.

Pete Tzinksy
Pete Tzinski is a writer and occasional editor. He is momentously disorganized, and is thus kept somewhat together — and wearing pants — thanks to the dutiful efforts of his friends and wife. He is made more disorganized by the cats, his son, and his cup of tea which swear to God got up and walked off because it was here not two minutes ago. He has a head of hair that looks like it creeps off at night and devours livestock. He is writing this of his own free will and is not in any way being threatend by anyone named Knucklebones Capri. He hopes for the safe return of his domestic animals. He lives in Minnesota.

Should Star Wars be rebooted? Yes, and no, and it already has been, and will be in the future. How’s that for taking a stand and making a really clear declarative answer?

I remember reading an interview with Joss Whedon, talking about Serenity, in which he said that the rough premise of the series was simply…what if Han Solo hadn’t met up with Luke Skywalker, and the Empire had defeated the rebellion? What if Han Solo kept on his smuggler’s path and the Empire won? What happens? Obviously, Firefly went a lot deeper than that, as any story grows and shifts beyond the initial premise which gets the artist interested in exploring the idea…but that initial concept hung around and is plainly visible. It becomes an interesting codex through which to watch and interpret Serenity on some long weekend when you have nothing else to do but pop in the DVDs and watch the episodes (sounds like a good weekend to me). If Malcom Reynolds is Han Solo and the claptrap Serenity is the Millennium Falcon, then you can kind of take Jayne and Zoe and meld them together into Chewbacca, if you want. The Empire is the Empire.

Firefly didn’t last very long, and didn’t reshape the whole world with its mere existence the way Star Wars did in some ways, and that’s a whole other discussion. Part of Star Wars‘ appeal is that it’s a very simple, simplistic story. We can relate to it the world over with the same universality that some fairy tales and myths take on. The point I’m making here, or at least fumbling towards, is that if you brought in other artists – Joss Whedon? J. Michael Straczynski? Ron Moore? J.J. Abrahms? – and you gave them Star Wars to reboot, what you would get would have very little resemblance to the Star Wars films Lucas made, because any complexity added would instantly remove them, make them something as different as Firefly was.So do I want to see a reboot? Well, yes, in the sense that I’d like to see lots of Firefly-esque different takes on the same theme, and yes, because I want more things-set-on-spaceships-damn-it.

But what do I really want to see? Continuations. I want to have other people build off the Star Wars films. Leave the original trilogy, but have had Joss Whedon write and direct the prequel trilogy. I would have enjoyed that no end. Or bring in a passionate team and have them film Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire trilogy.

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve watched the Star Wars films, but I still adore Star Wars. What I tend to adore is all the expanded universe stuff that’s been done. The novels by Timothy Zahn, A.C. Crispin, K.W. Jeter, Michael A. Stackpole and Aaron Allston, Kevin J. Anderson and so on. These were the pieces of Star Wars I reveled in, when I was a kid. These days, I think the best Star Wars story told was the plot of the video game Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, and I’m eagerly awaiting the second one.

George Lucas built a really simple framework, on top of which other people can tell interesting stories with character development and dialog and complex plots and all the things George Lucas tended to leave out of his films. Other people can reboot Star Wars, make things that are different and complex and cool and give them different names.

If we rebooted Star Wars the way Star Trek was rebooted, the only thing we could really add would be new young actors and even more computer special effects. I don’t think Star Wars needs that the way Star Trek sort of did.

So that’s my answer. Let’s continue build on top of it, rather than rebuild it.

Laura Resnick
Laura Resnick is the author of the popular Esther Diamond series, whose releases include Unsympathetic Magic, Doppelgangster, and the upcoming Vamparazzi. She has also written traditional fantasy novels such as In Legend Born, The Destroyer Goddess, and The White Dragon, which made the “Year’s Best” lists of Publishers Weekly and Voya. You can find her on the Web at

Although I really enjoyed Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back many years ago, I thought Return of the Jedi was awful, and I was so bored during The Phantom Menace that I fell asleep in the movie theater. I haven’t seen a Star Wars film or thought about the franchise since then. Meanwhile, despite how successful the recent Star Trek reboot was, with a blockbuster summer film featuring young Kirk & Co. just starting out in life… all it did for me was ensure that I’ll never watch another new Star Trek film. So apart from being uninterested in Star Wars, I’m also not enthusiastic about reboots.

However, a key factor here is that I’m totally indifferent to special effects. This is why I haven’t seen Avatar and doubt I ever will. Everyone who’s ever seen it has said the same thing to me: “Silly script, amazing special effects!” This is exactly like saying to me, “Dinner was bland and lukewarm–except for the peas, which were the best I’ve ever eaten!” I don’t eat peas, so the only relevant description I’m hearing is that the meal wasn’t good.

What I always liked about the better episodes and films of the original Star Trek franchise were the characters and stories; whereas I thought the 2009 Star Trek reboot came across as a CGI-laden remake of Top Gun, so I didn’t like it. Meanwhile, what Star Wars mostly had going for it back in its earliest years was that its special effects were so new and unique. Way back then, even I was enthralled by those effects and came out of the cinema talking about the alien bar and the space battles, etc. But we’ve long since become so bludgeoned to death with special effects that they do absolutely nothing for me anymore. And I’m skeptical that a Star Wars reboot would be much more than a special effects extravaganza.

Mike Resnick
Mike Resnick is the author of 62 novels, 250 short stories, a pair of screenplays, and the editor of more than 40 anthologies. According to Locus, he is the leading award winner, living or dead, of short fiction. His work has been translated into 26 languages.

The first two were good summer fun, nothing more. The third was a turkey. The three recent ones were unwatchable.

I think it’s hardly worth rebooting them. Think about it. Computer-enhanced weapons cannot hit a Skywalker or a Solo at 25 paces. The freedom fighters want to replace an Emperor with a Princess, which doesn’t do much for the voter on the street. Darth Vader, slaughterer of millions, becomes a Good Guy in the end solely because he’s Luke’s father. You have an intelligent robot that can’t speak and an idiotic paranoid one that can. No one working on the script knew what a parsec was.

Do you -really- want to bring this back as an example of “sci-fi” at its best?

About JP Frantz (2322 Articles)
Has nothing interesting to say so in the interest of time, will get on with not saying it.

26 Comments on MIND MELD: Should Star Wars Be Rebooted?

  1. joshua corning // September 22, 2010 at 12:48 am //

    Kill it!! kill it dead!!

    And then go write something better.

    Anyway the next great scifi movie will be a video game so this conversation is mostly mute…in fact from looking at the sales of Halo:Reach I would say it already has been made.

    One great irony of is that is that the “Force Unleashed” video games have better story telling and character development then at least 4 of the Star Wars movies….and probably better then 5 of them.

  2. Only after Lucas is dead and buried for at least three days. 

  3. Star Wars won’t be improved through a remake.

    It’s kind of like a hundred-year-old heritage house… Some homes that old are ugly and in bad condition and need to be torn down so better buildings can be put up in their place – which is what was needed with BSG. But other old places still have character and are preserved. Star Wars should be viewed in this manner. Like a heritage building, we should be able to go back and look at all the love and care that went into its original construction, even if there are glaring problems that we hope wouldn’t make it into a home or movie today. What we also see sometimes with heritage buildings is that new homes in the surrounding neighbourhood might be built to reflect the essence of the original architecture, while including the modern features we insist on. In this way, if there has to be more Star Wars film product out there, then the original trilogy should serve as inspiration for new films set in its universe to grow up around it – ones that preserve the look and feel, but are enhanced by better writing and acting.

    That being said, while I love the original Star Wars movies, I’d rather that universe be left alone. Time for film makers to tell new stories, or to adapt from the many great SF books out there.

  4. So…I guess the bullet point here would be “No”?


  5. Love bloginhood’s analogy, spot on.

    The original 3 films (and I mean the original cuts) are great classics and should be loved for what they are (flaws and all), and as has been said in every poster they never needed retouching, in fact retouching just spoils them. The Prequels were a misconcieved mess that tried to be all things to all people and abysmally failed on all counts because Lucas didn’t seem to have a clue about what he actually wanted to achieve (beyond raking in more cash).

    and thats the problem… Lucas who should be revered as a God has instead been revealed as a charlatan behind a curtain depserately trying to be seen as a wizard. Everything great that has come out of the franchise has been done by other people, everything Lucas himself has taken a hand in has been at best embarasing and at worst utter crap.

    Which is where my problem with a starwars reboot comes in… the one thing that would need to be removed to make the reboot work is the one thing that won’t let go till he is in his grave and thats Lucas. Yes it would be great to see the Thrawn trilogy turned into movies (as soon as I read the 1st of Zhan’s books I put money aside to see the movie), but as long as Lucas will be involved in the project… they would just suck.

  6. alphanitrate // September 22, 2010 at 7:56 am //

    I say that we should do one of two options.


    1.) EXPAND the universe, rather than retelling the same stories with different actors. Carry on from where RTOJ left off and let them attract the new crowd of fans tat can then go back and enjoy the first 6 films. In the books, they have had kids that have grown up etc. – focus on those.


    2.) Test the reboot – Take a movie like EWOKS: Battle for Endor, or the Starwars Holidays Special, and lets see if we can make them into something good before you take on the original trilogy

  7. Jeff VanderMeer // September 22, 2010 at 7:56 am //

    Star Wars needs to be booted. The last four movies are crap. Boot it right outta there.

    Someone needs to do Iain M. Banks’ Culture novels, or Reynolds. In fact, George Lucas should take his obscene billions and redeem himself by paying a competent director and competent writer to create a series of such movies. And don’t let Lucas even co-write or you’ll wind up with some crap like Willow-in-Space (“yer mither was a lizard!”).

  8. Mike Resnick, I love you.

  9. I think you’re all sort of missing something: Star Wars *was* rebooted with the prequel trilogy: it’s the origin story, the stuff that sets up what we all really like. 

    Now, if you want a better remake (’cause that’s what this is, a remake), I say that that’s already in the works – Live action TV show’s been planned, and apparently it’s supposed to be dark. If and when it’s made, it’s going to be big, just like the rest of the films and TV show out there. Star Wars isn’t a film series, it’s a product, and a highly successful one at that.

    Having something along the lines of a Battlestar Galactica or a new Star Trek would be interesting, although I can’t see such a dark show like Battlestar really fitting with the tone of the other films (as dark as ROTS was, Battlestar topped it) and Star Trek was so laughably silly that it might not also fit. Any addition to the franchise would have to forge its own path, much like The Clone Wars is doing now. 

    I’ll echo what a couple of people said already: Go film Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy. I’d love to see that hit the big screen. 

  10. Bjorn Westin // September 22, 2010 at 9:45 am //

    Never mess with perfection,make Ep VII-IX!!!

  11. Sreiously would you trust Lucas to make decent movies of the Thrawn trilogy? The problem with the prequels was that the creative ‘genius’ behind them didn’t have the vision to make them any good….

    To my mind the only way I would want to see any new Starwars movies was if Lucas had no involvement and I just don’t see that happening, at least not whilst he is still breathing, and I don’t bare him enough ill will to wish him to stop any time soon.

  12. No, no, no, no….NOOOOO!!!!! Do not remake the original (good) movies. If I ever have kids I will have to find the untouched originals to show them, as HAN SHOT FIRST!

    I agree with others, do Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy. Even the New Republic/New Jedi Order could be decent. However, any continuation should be with Lucas no closer than executive producer. He should have ZERO time spent writing or directing the movies, as when “the other guy” (always forget his name), who obviously cleaned up Lucas’ crap, left after Empire, the entire franchise started going down hill.

  13. First, I’m a bit saddened that most younger viewers have only seen Episodes 1-3 and the Clone Wars, um, thing. But that’s just e, I stood in a long line the first week Ep IV opened, and came out of the theater in joyous shock. How could anyone think they’ve seen Star Wars if they haven’t seen that?

    On the remake, please allow me to add my voice to the chorus: NO, NO, NO!

    Bruce Bethke has it exactly right, come up with something new. I don’t mind if the new thing accepts some of the “givens” of the SW films such as that there is this thing called The Force. That’s really no different than allowing planets, stars, hyperdrive or interstellar ships. Beyond that, come up with something new. NEW!

    If that’s too hard, then for god’s sake, somebody buy and film Scalzi’s Old Man’s War books, or Niven’s Man-Kzin wars, or Barbara Hambly’s Dragonsbane… there’s a million things out there waiting to be turned into great SF films. Don’t try to reboot a classic. New original, new adaptation of book, or not at all.

  14. TheAdlerian // September 22, 2010 at 1:57 pm //

    Stars isn’t dead or dated, so why and how could you create a remake? The Star Wars story has continued in various media since 1977 and is still going strong. Almost everyone in the world that has been exposed to the media knows the story, and so it doesn’t need retelling. It’s like those boring origin stories for superheroes. Everyone knows who Superman is, so just tell an exciting Superman story already!

    The same can be said for Star Wars. It would be child’s play to mine the mountain of material, much having nothing to do with the main characters, and start a new line of stories. If they were done without the humor, they would be a monster hit. Additionally, based on the cultural agreement that Star Wars is “cool” I’m sure many talented directors and actors would want the project.

    On a side note, I recall reading a Han Solo series in the early 80s that followed his adventures before the events of Star Wars. That’s a great premise for a film and people would line up. Frankly, I’m shocked that there hasn’t been more Star Wars films.

    Anyway, it would be foolish to reboot instead of expand.

  15. Matte Lozenge // September 22, 2010 at 5:06 pm //

    Mike Resnick is right on spot. #4: fun. #5: fun. #6: turkey. #1: unwatchable. #2: unwatchable. #3: unwatchable.

    Can you see a trend there?

  16. Nothing lightens up my day more than a bunch of adults getting pissed off at something created for kids because they haven’t realized they’ve grown up.

    You know it’s true.  😉

  17. F#$K growing up. Being a kid is more fun. Plus, the whole idea that kids/young adults can’t enjoy adult level stuff and adults can’t enjoy kid/young adult level stuff is ludicrious…as is you on a high horse.

  18. Why? Star Wars has had *one* writer – and a lame one at that. A re-boot is usually required when 1) too many cooks have completely confused and mangled the core story line and/or mythos, or 2) the original (latest) core story line and/or mythos has run out of steam. But, that supposes that the core story line and/or mythos was interesting to begin with and people would, well, want *more*.

    I’ve been burned out on Star Wars since 1994. Enough.

  19. Jonathan Eli // September 23, 2010 at 9:56 am //

    The originals were wonderful, they had their falts, but they had so much good going for them. What I didn’t like about the prequels was they were more advanced than the originals. Much like Star Trek; Enterprise, it was more technically advanced than the original series that I couldn’t watch it. I am sure if there was a remake of Star Wars they would CGI it to death and lose the feel of the originals all together. Or rewrite it so far away from the original story [I Robot; anyone?] you wouldn’t recognize it.

    Jonathan Eli

    The Last Cabbandeum

  20. Josh English // September 23, 2010 at 1:20 pm //

    Star Wars has entered the American (if not worldwide) 20th century mythos. Star Wars does not need to be rebooted. It needs, if anything, to push beyond movie and television limitations and be told in new media.


    I imagine in 20 years it will be a musical. In 50 someone will write an opera.


    On the other hand, if someone took it on and redid all six movies with some better actors and writing, that may be worth watching. A reboot would just ruin the original and retcon the prequels.

  21. Keith Hamlin // September 23, 2010 at 3:14 pm //

    Hey… What is needed is not a reboot of the SW Franchise at all…

    No one even mentioned that George has deprived us all of episodes VII, VIII, and IX that we were promised so long ago…

    It was like “Great. We will get story, back story, and then more story from the trilogies.” But that never happened… 🙁

  22. Mike Resnick is right. Go, Mike. Scott Lynch is right. Hurrah, Scott. Everyone in between is right. Yeah, ya’ll.

    Remake STAR WARS? I would prefer if an all-powerful Illuminati group distributed memory-eraser helmets to the world population so that the three prequel films were banished from our collective memory and from any invisible sphere of psychic energy which might be surrounding the Earth; I would prefer if A NEW EPISODE OF HOPE NUMBER IV or whatever the wook it is called now went back to being called just plain STAR WARS; I would like the scene in the bar to be digitally remastered so that not only does Han shoot first, he kicks Geedo while he is down, while the widow and orphan with tear-filled tentacles watch in horror from the near distance, and Han then pauses to salute Charleton Heston and the NRA (Nebular Raygun Association) just so that kids will learn that spacemen are supposed to shoot bug-eyed monsters with blaster pistols in seedy bars; and then I would like the RETURN OF THE JEDI be renamed REVENGE OF THE JEDI rewritten so that there are no Ewoks, and so that it is Wookies, not teddy bears, fighting imperial tanks on the forest moon of Endor, and so that there were more scenes of Kalimari shouting “It’s a Trap” as well as some sort of ending where Darth Vader stays a bad guy, gets his just desserts, and the whole plot revolves around something aside from blowing up the Death Star again

  23. Now who can argue with that?

    I think we’re all indebted to Gabby Wright for stating what needed to be said. Not only was it authentic science fictional gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.


  24. Episodes 1-3 need to be done, in 50 years, as classical opera, on stage.

    Think about it! The costumes! The sets! The incredibly melodramatic, overdone, absurd premises and themes. Padme and Anakin stiffly declaring their love while facing each other across a room with a distance of 4 meters separating them! Anakin cradling the corpse of his mother amid the massacre he has committed! 

    It was totally wasted as cinema. It would be brilliant as opera. Particularly if sung in a language I do not speak.

  25. I wrote up a STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE reboot last year.  So yeah, while I like the first two Star Wars movies, I don’t think they’re untouchable.  

  26. Absolutely and undoubtedly yes. Remake em, re-imagine them, complete;y re-do them. Loved the old ones (Jedi isn’t good though). Liked Phantom menace (or rather what ti COULD have been). so-so the final two.


    All in all though – love the story arc, love the films in general.


    BUT – heck…. lets have another go! Let’s really get into it – let’s make it serious, let’s go all the way…. let’s completely imagine that the ones we’ve already seen are the ficticious tellin gof the real story – now let’s tell th ereal story!!


    c’mon – gotta be a lark no?

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