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At The Trailer Park: Epic, Jack The Giant Killer, G.I. Joe – Retaliation, Wreck It Ralph

Can this week’s trailer park entries survive the tornado of your attention? Let’s find out….


EPIC tells the story of an ongoing battle deep in the forest between the forces of good and the forces of evil. When a teenage girl finds herself magically transported into this secret universe, she must band together with a rag-tag team of fun and whimsical characters in order to save their world…and ours.

Do yourself a favor and watch this in fullscreen, 1080p. It looks amazing. I can’t say the story does anything for me though. And when was the last movie that actually put 3D to good use? Aside from lining the studio’s pockets with more $$$.

Jack The Giant Killer

Jack the Giant Killer tells the story of an ancient war that is reignited when a young farmhand unwittingly opens a gateway between our world and a fearsome race of giants. Unleashed on the Earth for the first time in centuries, the giants strive to reclaim the land they once lost, forcing the young man, Jack, into the battle of his life to stop them.

Is it a good sign when a movie is pushed back from June 2012 to March 2013? No, no it’s not. Jack appears to be the latest in Hollywood’s attempts to bring classic fairy tales to the bring screen, in, again, 3D no less. Not interested in this at all, even with the flying, flaming trees.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Does it even matter what the “plotline” is?

Yet another movie pushed back from 2012 into 2013. Now, I don’t expect compelling plot lines from a G.I. Joe story, but this one just looks ridiculous. Even the presence of Bruce Willis does nothing for me, and I like Bruce (except for in Hudson Hawk, which had the one good “sing while robbing” scene, surrounded by 2 hours of suck. And Sandra Bernhard). At least they don’t advertise that the movie will be in 3D, though it probably will be.

Wreck It Ralph

The bad-guy character in a classic game who longs to be a hero brings trouble to his entire arcade after sneaking into a new first-person shooter game and unleashing a deadly enemy.

I admit it, I play a lot of video games so Wreck It Ralph appeals to me. It has cameos by some classic video game characters, Q-Bert and Clyde from Pac-Man, as well as some not so veiled homages to current games like Call of Duty (and the inevitable joke, which made me think of John….). So yeah, this one looks good to me, even though the plague of 3D has infected this movie too. Thanks Disney..

About JP Frantz (2322 Articles)
Has nothing interesting to say so in the interest of time, will get on with not saying it.
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